The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize