woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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