he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize