you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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