I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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