Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize