I heard we made out
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
