I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
