I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
