so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
