We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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