tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize