My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
