Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
3 2 1 whiskey
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
