i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
