is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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