Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize