Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
