Quick, to the slutcave!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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