ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
there's paper in my vomit.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
