Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize