the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
