How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
