Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
