My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
