How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
