dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize