Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
