I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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