you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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