Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize