champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
