They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
