i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize