Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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