I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
