Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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