I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
