Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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