Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
