You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
