I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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