he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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