Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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