Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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