Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
