i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Help. Why am I so naked?
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