I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I supernannyed him into submission
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
