i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize