Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
