yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize