hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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