So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
