I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize