Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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