new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
