I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
