Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
