I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
