if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
two words: eviction party
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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