Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
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