well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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