We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
