My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
3 2 1 whiskey
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
