white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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