It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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